Future & Faith
These are two difficult things for me to imagine. I think this is probably normal. I think the reason for me that faith can be so difficult is because I cannot physically see the person of God standing right in front of me. Now, this isn't to say that I don't believe in God, because I do, and I hope that my life demonstrates my faith in him. What this does mean though is that this is one area where Satan can trip me up. He tells me things like, "God doesn't exist, that is ridiculous", or "God can't love you, why would He ever love someone as messed up as you." When I think about it too much, I can begin to believe these lies. In a sense, the second one is true. How could God love someone as messed up as me? But it doesn't matter that, God doesn't tell me to make sense of every single detail in the Bible. He simply tells me to drop everything, putting my trust in him and to follow him (Matthew 4:18-22). But this is definitely way easier said than done.
Thinking back on my life, I look at some of the decisions I made. Some of them were easy decisions to make, while others were very difficult. Looking back, I remember the transition from 8th grade to 9th grade, I remember having to decide whether I wanted to move back to the High School (public school), or stay at the Christian school I was at. To give a little background from my story, 7th grade was a very difficult year, so I decided to go to a private school in 8th grade. Back to the story, I decided to go back to the public schools. This decision was not a difficult decision for me. For some reason, I knew that the public High School was where I was supposed to be. Decisions about schools have come very "easy" to me.
Since graduating college however, figuring out where God wants me to do has been a much more difficult process. What does it look like to have complete faith in God that His plan is perfect and the best? Going back to the passage in Matthew 4, this story talks about when Jesus is choosing his disciples. Jesus comes up to Peter and Andrew and says, "come and follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." I think their response is amazing. It says, "at once" they let their nets and followed him. The same thing happened with James and John. It says they "immediately" left the boat AND their father. WOW! What faith they must have had trusting Jesus to give up everything, including their families, and follow him.
Abraham is another prime example of what it looks like to give up everything and follow God (Yahweh). God said to Abraham (Abram at the time) to "leave your country, your people, and your father's household and go to the land I will show you" (Genesis 12). God continues to promise Abram not only this land, but also an entire nation. Most people would probably respond, "yeah right" (this would likely have been my response). This wasn't how he responded though. Another piece of this story is that Abram was 75 years old at this point (which most people lived longer then, but 75 was still getting up there in age even back then, especially for having children, which he was later promised in Chapter 15 of Genesis). Abraham's (Abram) response was to do as the LORD commanded him, without question.
Both the disciples and Abram show times when they don't show faith. When Abram went to Egypt, he told Pharaoh that Sarai was his sister, not his wife. Abram did this because of the fear he had that they would kill him, because of Sarai (He thought Pharaoh would want Sarai as his wife). The disciples showed plenty of times when they did not trust the Lord (Peter denying Christ 3 times for one example).
Well, basically I have been going through this time of waiting. It has been a challenge waiting for God's timing. There are times when I am ok with waiting, but when it comes to my future, I struggle a lot about where I will be. During these times, I cling to verses like Jeremiah 29:11. This verse has been an important verse for me ever since high school. James has also been a foundational book for me. It helps me understand what faith looks like in action. After all, faith without deeds is dead (James 2:17). The best way to so others your faith is not through words, but actions. "Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words."
Thinking back on my life, I look at some of the decisions I made. Some of them were easy decisions to make, while others were very difficult. Looking back, I remember the transition from 8th grade to 9th grade, I remember having to decide whether I wanted to move back to the High School (public school), or stay at the Christian school I was at. To give a little background from my story, 7th grade was a very difficult year, so I decided to go to a private school in 8th grade. Back to the story, I decided to go back to the public schools. This decision was not a difficult decision for me. For some reason, I knew that the public High School was where I was supposed to be. Decisions about schools have come very "easy" to me.
Since graduating college however, figuring out where God wants me to do has been a much more difficult process. What does it look like to have complete faith in God that His plan is perfect and the best? Going back to the passage in Matthew 4, this story talks about when Jesus is choosing his disciples. Jesus comes up to Peter and Andrew and says, "come and follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." I think their response is amazing. It says, "at once" they let their nets and followed him. The same thing happened with James and John. It says they "immediately" left the boat AND their father. WOW! What faith they must have had trusting Jesus to give up everything, including their families, and follow him.
Abraham is another prime example of what it looks like to give up everything and follow God (Yahweh). God said to Abraham (Abram at the time) to "leave your country, your people, and your father's household and go to the land I will show you" (Genesis 12). God continues to promise Abram not only this land, but also an entire nation. Most people would probably respond, "yeah right" (this would likely have been my response). This wasn't how he responded though. Another piece of this story is that Abram was 75 years old at this point (which most people lived longer then, but 75 was still getting up there in age even back then, especially for having children, which he was later promised in Chapter 15 of Genesis). Abraham's (Abram) response was to do as the LORD commanded him, without question.
Both the disciples and Abram show times when they don't show faith. When Abram went to Egypt, he told Pharaoh that Sarai was his sister, not his wife. Abram did this because of the fear he had that they would kill him, because of Sarai (He thought Pharaoh would want Sarai as his wife). The disciples showed plenty of times when they did not trust the Lord (Peter denying Christ 3 times for one example).
Well, basically I have been going through this time of waiting. It has been a challenge waiting for God's timing. There are times when I am ok with waiting, but when it comes to my future, I struggle a lot about where I will be. During these times, I cling to verses like Jeremiah 29:11. This verse has been an important verse for me ever since high school. James has also been a foundational book for me. It helps me understand what faith looks like in action. After all, faith without deeds is dead (James 2:17). The best way to so others your faith is not through words, but actions. "Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words."
I often try to make the "perfect" decision in regards to my future, but I have learned more about faith recently. I keep reminding myself that no matter what decision I make, as long as it is within God's boundaries and makes sense, I can make any choice, and have faith that God can and will use either choice.
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